Be Not Fooled By the Capital One Cafe, Dear Friends

It has been a few weeks, so I must beg your pardon. Things have been a little hectic and in some areas of life I am like butter scraped over too much bread, but its not all bad! I took a delightful trip to visit dear friends in Chicago, and I enjoyed that brief two weeks where it is warm but not punishingly hot and humid in the city, which, if the constant sweaty spot in the center of my back is any indication, has come and gone. I don’t have an overarching theme for this post, rather a scattered smattering of thoughts and observations. Its the blogging equivalent of when I’ve got random leftovers that don’t stand on their own but combined make for a weird, frankenstein dinner that I wind up supplementing with smoked sausage sticks and a brick of cheese. Not unlike a Ploughman’s Lunch!

Singing the praises of David Fry

Sometimes, in a regular season baseball game, one of the teams will get a massive lead that is, in all likelihood, insurmountable. On such occasions, the manager might choose to put a position player in to pitch so that the other arms in the bullpen aren’t wasted on a lost cause. Its a dirty job; unglamorous, but noble in a certain way. To go out and take the heat for the team in circumstances where you are sure to look kind of silly is worthy of appreciation in my book.

This was the case when David Fry, who was previously designated as a “player to be named later” in a trade, took the mound on September 4, 2023 for the Cleveland Guardians. Fry was in his rookie season with Cleveland, and at that point had demonstrated that he was a capable utility player - he could catch, play first base, a little outfield - but wasn’t lighting the world on fire or anything. He continued to exhibit “utility” as he was charged with twirling the pill when the Guards went down 11-1 to the Minnesota Twins with a significant amount of game left to go. Fry went out there and ate shit for 4 innings after the regular pitching staff had gotten the team so deep into a hole that the only thing to do was hand the shovel to another guy who could spare everyone else from the strain of digging further. He did so with grace and good humor, and I have had a real affection for him since.

In 2024, David Fry is having a breakout season, with a slash line of .336/.473/.602, and is one of the main talking points of the Guardians being one of the best stories of the 2024 MLB season. Throughout this last offseason, I lamented that the team brass didn’t invest in putting some thump in the lineup, and yet here is some thump! I have to give management whatever the legally mandated amount of credit is for setting their sights on Fry as the PTBNL, but the lion’s share of the credit goes to Fry himself for being great. And all the recent success aside, I still know he’s a dude you can count on to mop up some innings if the team is getting rocked.

Once again, I got clowned by a bank and I probably deserved it

If you live in select metropolitan areas, you may have noticed a hybrid cafe/workspace/vestibule with ATMs pop up, looking like a cross pollination between a WeWork, an AirBnB, and the renovated terminals at LaGuardia. This is the CapitalOne Cafe.

According to their website:

Like most people, I would imagine, my introduction to the CapitalOne Cafe came from walking by one daily on the way to work and thinking “what the hell is this” and then five seconds later forgetting about it. Over the course of a week and a half, those seconds added up to form a thought: should I check this place out? I should be saving this anecdote as an obtuse introduction I give while teaching an intro level Marketing class. I imagine at some point I’ll wind up taking on a few teaching assignments at a community college to make some extra dough. I’ll be somewhat reticent in my approach, and perhaps a little resentful of the youth and opportunity my students have before them. We’ll wind up connecting over a shared skepticism toward institutions and authority and by the time the semester is over they’ll wind up teaching me more than I could ever teach them. Yeah, my adjunct community college professor earnings will help fund my two month writer’s sabbatical in Ireland, but the money will mean nothing compared to the knowledge that there are hungry, enthusiastic youngsters like Trina, Juancho, and Burlingame Venmo Jr. out there. And if they’re going to be the ones running things as I age into obscurity, we’re going to be just fine.

Enticed by the mild, late capitalist dystopian vibes of the CapitalOne Cafe, I decided to get my afternoon coffee there one day, semi-ironically. This is never a good reason to do something, and I paid the price. You certainly can utilize the CapitalOne Cafe if you are not a cardmember (I am not), though cardmembers get a discount. I can’t remember what the base price listed on the menu was, but I do know that I paid eight friggin’ clams for an iced Americano. To be fair, it was a good cup of coffee, but damn! Serves me right, I guess.

Cultural Elements I Have Recently Enjoyed

Consider this a mini version of Media Diet. In no particular order, here are some things I’ve loved recently:

• Coney Island Circus Sideshow - Recently on a trip to Coney Island, I went to the Freak Bar with some friends after the Cyclones game. We decided to get tickets for the last showing of the Circus Sideshow for the day and wow, what a time it was. I get oddly patriotic about certain vestiges of Americana (I think no country has us beat when it comes to con artistry) and sideshow/carny culture is one of them. My fervor was matched by the talent of the performers who swallowed swords, contorted, and did a bunch of other crazy stuff that made us exclaim from the bleachers. After the sideshow, we stuck around to see A Day on the Boardwalk, A Night at the Strip Show, a Marx brothers themed burlesque performance. I laughed, I cheered, I booed at the mention of Robert Moses.

• Diamond Jubilee - This is a double album released by Cindy Lee, the drag alter ego of musician and performer Patrick Flegel, and after marinating on it for like a month, I feel I am able to shake any recency bias and say its one of the best albums of the year. I first heard about it from Andy Cush’s review in Pitchfork and Nicholas Russel’s in Defector; there’s nothing I could say here that they haven’t already said better, so I’ll point you to those pieces. This is one to listen to top to bottom, especially when you need to air out your brain. Diamond Jubilee isn’t on any streaming services; you can listen to the album in its entirety on YouTube or download it (donation suggested!) from a GeoCities website, which is rad.

• YouTube videos of musical performances from The Midnight Special - Somehow I fell down this rabbit hole, and nothing can make you question what you’re doing with your life like saying out loud to nobody in particular “wow, look at young Donald Fagen” while staring at your phone. For real though, look up Prince’s sets.

Closing a Loop

I recently reactivated Netflix after not really missing it for a long time (I hope to diligently churn their asses) and in putting together a watchlist I have realized that The Nutty Professor and Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps are both offered on the service. I am hereby committing to reckoning with the Klumps.